Sir John and Lord Arlington ran into the conservatory. As they caught their breath, Sir John looked up at the glass ceiling.

“The sky’s very mauve for this time of year,” he said. “I haven’t seen a sky like that since Paris. Which rather points to the theory I’m forming.”

“Purple… like the scientist,” said Lord Arlington.

“What scientist?” said Sir John.

“The one… the one who explained about…” Lord Arlington looked puzzled again.

“Feed me,” said a rather carnivorous looking plant.

Sir John looked around and found a knife. He quickly sliced off the flower of the plant.

“No good can come of that I’m sure,” he said. “Tell me more about the scientist, Lord Arlington.”

“He was the one, he explained about the… the thing… in the ground,” said Lord Arlington, …why we had to leave.”

“What was in the ground?” said Sir John.

“Something… we needed to get out,” said Lord Arlington.

“You needed to get out?” asked Sir John.

“No, we needed to get it out,” said Lord Arlington. “But I said no and… what happened then?”

“Was there an argument?” said Sir John.

“I don’t remember,” said Lord Arlington. “Look out!”

Sir John spun round to see a gigantic plant with a lion’s head with a top hat where the flower should be. It roared at the two men.

“Dandy lion!” said Lord Arlington.

The lion flower tipped forward towards them and both men jumped back. Another plant wrapped big leaves around them. It made a noise like a horn and then started to get very hot, very quickly.

“Swiss charred!” said Lord Arlington. Sir John frantically cut through the burning leaves.

“It seems this room is no safer,” said Sir John. “What say we break through a window and get out of the house. Although it looks rather purple out there, I imagine it’s less dangerous.”

“No!!” shouted Lord Arlington. “I won’t go!”

“We’ll still be on the grounds and we can come back to another room,” said Sir John. “Perhaps one without so many dangerous flora.”

Just then a plant with long variegated leaves slithered by. Sir John stamped on it.

“Snake plant I presume,” he said. “What do you say Lord Arlington, beat a tactical retreat?”

“No!” said Lord Arlington, “I told you, I don’t care, I’m not leaving.”

Sir John looked over at the other man.

“You… don’t care?” said Sir John. “You didn’t say that to me.”

Lord Arlington looked perplexed again.

“No… it was to him,” he said. “To the scientist.”

“Do you remember where,” said Sir John. “Where in the house this argument happened.”

“Over there,” said Lord Arlington. “In the kitchen.”

“We need to go there,” said Sir John. “Is it that way?”

“Yes,” said Lord Arlington. “We go via the ballroom.”

Just then a low growl came from amongst the plants. Lord Arlington looked at them in terror.

“Monstera!” he whispered.

“Let’s go,” said Sir John and the two men ran through the door and toward the ballroom.

Artwork by Mary Irene Pichette (processed)