Sir John saw the knives, forks, spoons, pot and pans hang momentarily in the air. He held his breath.

“Easier than I thought,” he muttered and then the murderous utensils flew towards him. Reflexively he braced for impact, closed his eyes and felt…

nothing

nothing at all

am i…dead? 

all senses shut down?

Sir John opened his eyes and saw the horrible business of the cutlery. He shut his eyes in terror and…

nothing 

again 

it’s not real 

like I thought – it’s all an hallucination

Behind him he could hear Lord Arlington gibber in terror, but all he could do was laugh and open his eyes to see…

right

best not look

best to navigate the kitchen blind 

Sir John wondered briefly if he could remember what the kitchen looked like, then realised he had no idea what the kitchen really looked like.

better be careful even if the dangers are phantasms

just my luck to trip over a real hole in the ground

but how to?

ah!

“Lord Arlington,” said Sir John. “I wonder if you could tell me where exactly you had the argument with the professor.”

“How…how are you alive man,” shrieked Lord Arlington, “with all that damage?”

Sir John felt a spasm of terror, frightened he had deluded himself and was even now…

stop that!

all is fine

“That’s not terribly helpful, Lord Arlington,” said Sir John. “The direction if you will.”

“It’s straight in front of you to the sink, then left a while until you get to the door,” said Lord Arlington.

Sir John walked forward, eyes closed until he found the sink. It was stone cold. He gingerly walked along the kitchen surface, careful not to touch a hot oven. In the end he found the oven – cold too.

“It was there!” called out Lord Arlington. “Below.”

Sir John kneeled down and felt around. He found a broken pipe, and a little further along another pipe. A middle section had been ripped out it seemed. The end nearest the door was emitting a draught.

wish phlebotomus was here he’d know about this mechanical stuff

how do I stop it?

Sir John listened and heard a hissing noise. A sudden terror gripped him.

that’s the hissing of angry knives

they’re coming for me

stop that man – knives don’t hiss

gas hisses

He felt around the hissing pipe, the one closest to the door. His mind was full of…

knives turning into snakes, sharp and hissing and then he realised turning yes there must be a way and he felt a wheel and yes this must be it and the wheel felt cold like a snake but it wasn’t a snake it was metal and it turned and he turned it right and finally

no hiss

no gas

Sir John opened his eyes and saw a dirty kitchen, devoid of use with utensils safely tucked away.

“Well,” he said. “That’s one mystery solved. Now if you forgive me, I’d better go and see how my wife is getting on with yours.”

Sir John left the room and Lord Arlington noticed Sir John was only shaking a little.

“My wife?” said Lord Arlington.