Well Gentle Reader, we have come to the end of our story. From next week The Benthic Times is very pleased to announce the commencement of another Jennings and Jennings adventure. A story of machiavellian manipulation, of Mephistolean mind control, of melodramatic machinations called…. The Mancunian Mesmerist.
For those of you who hanker to hear a little more of the goings on at Grimley Hall, fear not. Every artistic endeavour is bound to fall foul of some errors or problems, and ours most surely has. For your general entertainment and edification we present, in the language of the common parlance, the “bloopers” from the Howarth Haunting.
“I think I detect something,” said Sir John pacing around the room.
“Yes!” proclaimed Sir John. “A definite trace left behind. Something very old and potentially evil… there!” He pointed in front of himself and pulled off the goggles to discover he was pointing at empty space.
“I’m over here, dear boy,” said Lady Howarth. Both Marie and Sir John burst into laughter.
From next door came a creaking noise that Marie knew was the Thanatograph. It sounded like something was happening this time, as a thin voice came through. Marie could just make out her husband saying, “Remarkable, isn’t it?” Then Mrs Howarth said loudly,
“What’s it saying – sounds like – ‘you’ something – ‘you – snake?’ ‘YOU SNAKE!’ No… no it doesn’t, does it? It’s supposed to be you serpent, you sodding serpent.”
Marie could hear laughter through the wall.
“You Sodding Serpent!”
“We ‘ave so little time,” said Marie, as the maid brought another tray. “If only we knew what it meant, ‘the letters spell it out’.”
There maid daintily put the tea on the table and stood back. The Jenningses both looked at it in a confused manner.
“Oh!” Started the maid suddenly a look of shock on her face. “Oh, bo…”
“Butter fingers!” quickly interrupted Marie, and Sir John started laughing.
“I’m sorry madam,” said the maid, “but I couldn’t help overhearing you yesterday. About AC and EH and… and some letters. Alice Copsey. She’s my aunt, see. Well my great aunt. There were facts about her and… and the old master…”
“Rumours?” said Marie, whose shoulder were starting to shake a little.
“Yes madam, facts that were like rumours, but were actually more sort of facts.” Marie shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. “You know what madam, I’ll come back and try again,” said the maid, desperately trying to suppress a smile.
“She is possessed by a demon!” said the Bishop and made towards Marie. He put his hand on her forehead and muttered something in Latin. Marie turned around to face him, looking wild and confused. Then as he continued, her features softened.
“Merci, Monseigneur,” she said, and snatched his crozier. She stood away from the Bishop and the wall and held the crozier behind her head. She swung it round with a grunt and hit the wall. The crozier broke instantly into 3 pieces leaving Marie with a short piece in her hand. The bishop and and Sir John started chuckling and Marie could barely hold onto the crozier for giggling.
“You just can’t get the staff these days,” said Lady Howarth, provoking much hilarity.
The Benthic Times 